Reality check

Sometimes I look at my own progress and think I'm not making much headway. This can be in Play as Being, or it can be in one of several Buddhist disciplines that I am engaged in. Or I can be taking a long hard look at myself, seeing my weaknesses, and seeing how much I sometimes lack the determination to address those weaknesses.

There's a trap here that's easy to fall into in a society that is becoming increasingly obsessed with monitoring and evaluation. That trap involves relying on other people's judgements, both of how we're doing and - much more important - of what we should be working on anyway. Even if I had ever wanted to be like them - and believe me I don't - their judgemental attitude is corrosive; it can wear you down and seep through your skin.

Sometimes it helps to see the petty priorities of others, not as a threat, nor as an excuse for one-upmanship, but as a indicator that - actually - I AM making progress. It's a reality check. Their anger and stress is not for me, no matter how much I might think I want their money! I can opt out of the priorities they want to judge me by.

It bears reminding myself of a quote by motivational speaker Susan Fowler Woodring. The first time I read this I was deeply shocked; its truth pierced me deeply. "People without goals will be used by people with goals." That also means that without a clear view of ourselves we will be manipulated by others who want to impose their distorted views of us, on us.

And perhaps I should also start believing more of what dear friends and loved ones have been saying to me for years! They don't have to encourage me as they do, yet they still do. That can be a very pleasant reality check!