Seeing as Being 2

• I am at work, sitting at my desk in an almost empty open-plan office, starting the exercise of seeing as Being. As I engage, from somewhere a turbulent mind objects to the sudden depth. And I listen to that mind, hearing its common sense, allowing it to persuade me that a wet face in the office may not be a 'good' thing, and I hover on the edge of seeing as Being, only lightly becoming it, and I feel very calm.
• This is hard to do at work. I am merging, submerging, becoming and unbecoming... and trying to deal with emails, and people, and... ! So what's different from Play as Being practice? I said yesterday it wasn't different, but it is. The extent to which I am losing me and being Being seems much greater. It is actually exhausting to snap back into limited awareness and deal with what others demand of me. I'm not sure I can keep making the transition backwards and forwards. It's the transitions that are causing the damage. So I have four options: (1) Abandon the practice, (2) Continue for a while to see if things sort themselves out, (3) Restrict the practice to when I'm in less chaotic surroundings, or (4) Do the practice all the time - really! I'm going to try option 2 for a bit longer. Then we'll see!
• Made it through another exercise. Phew! Feeling a little disoriented on return. Eyes moist.
• Much later. At home. 1:15pm SLT. In the Pavilion in Second Life. The bell went off. And... I SAW as Being. A wave of power swept into me. I WAS that power. Merciless power. Power that could wipe all trivia aside. Vajrapani-like power... I'm back now and I'm safe. And happy. I can do this. :)
• Another bell. And more power. It seems to stay with me this time. I am surrounded by my friends in Second Life, yet I feel as I could sweep my hand slowly and build and destroy universes. Vastness.
• I have a better description for the power. It may sound pretentious. Chapter 11 of the Bhagavad Gita describes the vision of the cosmic form of Krishna. It is possible to BE that vision. This may not be what Oppenheimer meant when he spoke his famous quote, but now I know the experience.