Seeing as Being 3

• OK. This works. I am at work again, somewhere midway between trepidation after yesterday's experiences at work, encouragement after yesterday's experiences at home, and commitment to go through with the experiment. What I see as Being is vast: this world and worlds far beyond, with the events of this small life, labelled 'Storm', as very small in proportion. Then Being turns its gaze on the beings scurrying in their self-contained separateness and a deep feeling of sadness emerges. Somewhere Storm sees the drivers in their cars and shoppers at the mall and recognises the sadness as the same compassion that came with a direct experience of Emptiness. Then I am pulling out of this and I feel the transition start to hurt, as it did yesterday, and instead I go back briefly to the Seeing and ride the experience more naturally and slowly out, like a surfer on an incoming wave. I am back. And my boss has a question for me.
• Connected? No. That still implies separation. Become. One. All that was connected is me. And returning, hovering back on the edge, all my concerns are trivia, and this blog is nothing in proportion.
• Listening as well as Seeing... What am I, as Being, doing?! It is like being on an aircraft: all the noises. The air-conditioning sounds like the efflux roar of jet engines. The hum of fluorescent lights sounds like a cockpit buzzer constantly alarming. Why have I created this? Because the parts of me yet to be aware need it at the moment. Storm stays half in and half out of this awareness for some time.
• Before Playing as Being, a tree is a tree and a mountain is a mountain. While Playing as Being, things become a little confused. After Playing as Being, a tree is a tree and a mountain is a mountain. ;-)
• Back home again. 1:15pm SLT. In the Pavilion in Second Life. The bell rings. I see as Being. Separation disappears. Form disappears... Minutes later, I am surfing back to the conventional view and rejoining the crowd in the Pavilion with a clear thought: whoever wrote the Heart Sutra has been here too.
• (I observe that it now takes nearly a full 15 minutes to experience Seeing as Being and write a blog entry. And then the bell goes again!)
• (This is between Seeings. I missed 1:30pm SLT. It is now 1:35.) I feel different. It is more than poise. I'm trying to describe it without saying the words I know I am going to say anyway. Which I shall now say. I feel "in command", quietly and calmly in command. Of my bodily movements. Of my mind. Of my place as part of Being. It is almost an imperious control. A feeling of power, directed power, that knows where and why is being directed: Wisdom and Power combined. Words are such poor tools! The more I say, the more I take away from the experience. A further 15 minutes and the feeling has partly faded. But this all from a few seconds 40 minutes before. Enough of commentary! Back to experience!